Unwilling, Broken Heart
by CloudxKadajLover
Summary: Zack did not know why he saved the one that had caused him so much pain and hatred, but his heart would not let him leave Genesis behind. Through confusion, hurt and unexpected intimacy he might finally get what he wants. GenesisxZack, CC spoilers.


PLEASE READ

You clicked to read this, I love you xD lol, okay FIRST OFF, if you haven't played Crisis Core, or watched all the cutscenes like I have OR to say it shortly, if you don't know the PLOT of Crisis Core, you probably shouldn't read this because 1) You'll be confused 2) This contains some spoilers. Secondly, I once again created my own pairing. Yes it's random and OMG WTF BBQ, BUT the idea for it spawned after watching one of the cutscenes toward the end of the game. So it wasn't COMPLETELY out of the blue. But anyway, if you came here to tell me how retarded I am for thinking up this couple, then LEAVE. I don't CARE what you think!! Lastly, I am VERY pleased with how this came out, AND I actually tried to make this a bit canon because I wanted Zack and Genesis to have more time together and more reaction than they did in the scene that spawned the idea for this fic. (If you want to see that scene, I have the link to it on my profile, it might help you understand this a bit more ). I think that's it! My insanity is still very much alive ;P Anyway, if you're still here, go on ahead and read!!!

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It was like a blur as bright blue eyes watched the black winged angel fall, defeated, on the ground, his light auburn hair askew, eyes closed. He had returned to his normal state- this was the price to be paid. The gazing beauty sighed…the unconscious swordsman was so hard headed, so _stupid_- did he not make it clear that he wanted to save the lost man? Why did he even _want_ to save him? Was it because it was what Lazard wanted to do and Zack felt the need to follow his wishes? Or was it of his own accord? He didn't want to believe this- Genesis had always been his enemy, all of this started because of him, and all the young warrior could think of was hate when he heard the ex-SOLDIER's name. But yet, he couldn't leave him here. His heart would not let him, for reasons he didn't know just yet. Zack wondered if his unrelenting kindness would cost him one day. 

Walking toward the still body, the strong man bent down and gently lifted Genesis over his shoulder before standing up, keeping an arm around the angel's waist to keep him from falling. He made his way out of the cave, so many thoughts and questions swirling around in his head. After awhile it became too much- he needed to sit down and sort them out before he drove himself crazy.

Spotting a large rock as he made his trail up the green covered landscape, he placed the pink coat clad male against it, putting him in a position he hoped was comfortable. Walking toward the edge of the hill, the black haired youth sat himself down among the grass, bringing up a knee to lay his forehead against. He shut his eyes, trying to close out his thoughts, but he only unintentionally welcomed them.

The deceased equally dark haired 1st Class resurfaced in Zack's tired mind, his words of wisdom, his gentle smile, his blue eyes that shone with amusement when he joked around with the silly youth.

_"Your life is more important than the sword…just a little."_

_"How could you not know-? To not know what a Stupid Apple is just- If that's so then your promotion to 1st Class will be impossible!"_

The memory of the two walking through the Wutian forest returned to the thoughtful youth- it seemed so very long ago. He was still a 2nd Class then, so bouncy and carefree, his eyes bright with confidence as he followed his mentor, who always kept the same straight sturdy walk, his wisdom and attentiveness evident with every step he took.

_"Angeal! Stupid Apple thing, what the heck is it?"  
"It's properly known as a White Banora. Once a year you could hand pick these off trees. The people of my village are quite fond of them and they named it the Stupid Apple. We used to go into the farm and take a couple to eat."  
__"You're quite the thief to say something like that."  
"I was poor then."  
"Say what you like."_

Zack could not help but smile as he remembered this conversation, even though his eyes glistened with tears. He didn't want to cry anymore, but he didn't have the strength to hold the tears back. Angeal meant so much to him, more than he was ever able to tell him- he wished he could have said something, _anything_ to let the wise man know what he felt about him as he lay dying beside the sobbing youth. An unwanted memory resurfaced in the saddened youth's mind and he shut his eyes to keep the tears from falling. Four years had passed, and yet to Zack it felt as though Angeal's death had just happened yesterday…the pain hadn't died down a bit, his aching heart received no mercy.

Able to keep his emotions under control, mako-tainted eyes turned to look at the silent swordsman. It looked like he would be out for awhile…glancing up, Zack noticed a large purple apple-shaped fruit, hanging lonesome on a tree above them.

"The Stupid Apple…"

Getting up, he plucked the violet fruit off of the tree and looked at it a moment before taking a bite. It was wonderfully sweet, more so than any other fruit he had tasted. He focused on chewing it until a familiar startled him.

"How does it taste?"

Looking down, Genesis hadn't changed position, but it was obvious he had spoken.

"Taste really good…want a bite?"

At this unexpected friendly response, blazing sky blue eyes revealed themselves and looked at the smiling swordsman, who held the White Banora out to him.

"You tried so many times to take my apple away from me and now you're giving me one?"

Zack chuckled at this response, although he was surprised by Genesis's odd humor.

"I didn't say you could have it- I said you could take a bite."

"My mistake."

A pink gloved hand rose to take the apple, and he studied it for a few seconds, observing the white area where the porcupine headed male had bitten out of earlier. Choosing a spot adjacent to it, he brought the fruit to his mouth and took an equally large bite. Tasting the sweet fruit brought back memories the red-haired man thought were lost, along with the world. It was as though he had forgotten he was a child once…an innocent, happy youth, who's best friend always went on about pride and duty. Thick lips pulled into a light smile at this sudden memory. He wasn't aware Zack was watching him.

"What are you smiling about?"

For some reason, the supposed hate Zack felt toward the failure had disappeared, and the curious youth really didn't care to find out why. The world didn't need anymore hate.

Glancing up, the thoughtful experiment met near identical eyes, with shone with nothing but simple curiosity. He felt disappointed in a way- the many other times he had looked into the SOLDIER's mesmerizing eyes he had seen an array of emotions, ranging from anger to sadness. The sudden lack of these emotions startled the beautiful man- did he not hate him anymore?

_"I came here to save you!"_

It wasn't even the words themselves that were perplexing- but the tone Zack had used, the sad, pitiful, hopeful tone that would imply he meant it…the prideful man could not bring himself to take it seriously even then. How could one want to save one's enemy? It was silly to think of and Genesis only ignored it, as he saw it as a distraction. For his last few moments conscious, he figured he was right in those words being only a distraction, as fury burned in the other's eyes as they fought. However, seeing the current situation, the honest youth meant what he said, leaving the sore man with wandering questions.

"Hmm…just a remembrance of a lost memory."

"Were you thinking about when you were a kid?"

Zack smiled slightly at the bewildered look Genesis gave him.

"Angeal mentioned once about the largest White Banora tree being by your house…you were the mayor's son right?"

Surprised eyes looked at him for a moment before an emotion similar to happiness overcame them, lovely lips up in that same simple, pleased smile. The reminiscing man nodded. He brought his attention back to the apple.

"What else did Angeal tell you?"

"Well, I knew you guys used to be best friends. He told me he would steal a couple of apples from your tree…said it was somehow better than just asking you," Zack continued, sitting down across from Genesis.

The light haired man raised an eyebrow very slightly at this new information, and the loose lipped youth felt the heat rise slightly in his face.

"But…I guess he didn't want you to know that…"

The amused swordsman chuckled, and his smile widened. Now that the spiky haired youth witnessed Genesis smile- a happy smile, not a smug or plotting-to-destroy smile- he only noticed now that it brought out the other pretty, attractive features of the angel's face. Perhaps it was because before this, Zack only saw Genesis as his opponent, as a lost minded psycho who only seemed to make things more confusing for him to understand. Nonetheless, the Genesis in front of him now was simply being Genesis and there were no other factors to distract Zack from observing who this "normal" Genesis really was.

"Is that all you know?"

"Yeah, he didn't talk about you much…I guess because…"

The thoughtful youth trailed off, and an angry streak went through him as he realized the determined experiment's betrayal to his best friend…_both_ of his best friends. He glared at Genesis suddenly, whose happy expression was now long gone. He got back up on his feet.

"What's wrong with you? Why did you have to go causing all this trouble just for the sake of your stupid 'Gift of The Goddess' crap? Even now I don't understand what that is!" the spiky haired youth nearly yelled, exasperated. "You act like you didn't have a life! A _good_ life!"

"I caused all that trouble you speak of to _save_ my life," the listening man explained calmly. "Did you expect me to respond well to deterioration?"

Any spec of patience Zack had disappeared and the fury he thought had passed came back with a bitter vengeance.

"Deterioration?!" he almost exploded, his sense of self gone. "That gives you an excuse to become a psycho?! You nearly killed everyone in your village, even your own parents, you sick sadistic bastard! Not counting you hurt plenty others, you turned against Angeal who was doing nothing but trying to save you, and because of you, he-he…"

The furious swordsman stopped at these words, his eyes filling up again. He shut them, clenching his hands into fists which shook with anger.

"You went around saying SOLDIERs are monsters, and then when he got a wing like you he thought he was the same thing!"

"We are monsters…it is unfortunate what happened to him, but-"

"We are NOT monsters, _you_ are! Just because you decided to go crazy doesn't mean you have to bring us all down with you!"

"You only argue because you are in denial about your own monstrous acts. Did you not kill one you saw as a friend? Did you not _try_ to kill the other? Yet, you saved me, your enemy. As you escape, you put not only yourself, but the other boy in danger along with you, and you'd kill anyone in your way wouldn't you? Without a second thought?"

Zack's eyes widened in disbelief at Genesis's words. He had never thought of what he had done that way…never…

"Shut up," he hissed, shaking with fury. "How could you say that?! Who are you to even SAY it? You didn't have to deal with the burden of trying to kill people you cared about to save them! You think I would do it if I had another choice? You don't even KNOW, you-"

"Say what you want, but do you deny it?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Don't you think you could have done something different? You blame the world but not yourself-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

"Tell me why you decided to save me…what am I to you?"

"No, you tell _me_ why!"

"Why what?"

"Why you ruined _everything_. Everything I knew, everything that I loved…" the broken beauty managed to say, keeping tears at bay. He had never felt so confused in his life…he needed _him_ to be here, to set things right…Angeal…

"That wasn't me…that's just the way of the world. You truly are a puppy, Zackusu," Genesis continued in his insanely calm tone.

At being called by his nickname by the person he hated right now, on top of the fact that Genesis had completely ignored his demanding questions, the raging youth lost it. Without thought, he punched the aggravating man across the face, knocking him over completely on his side with a cry of pain. He watched the angel, on the ground, unmoving. Regret and worry overcame him suddenly.

"Genesis..?"

The still body slowly started to pick itself up, and when Genesis met his gaze with the other's, he was pleased to see Zack's eyes burning with the many emotions that resulted from feeling fury, confusion, hurt and disbelief all at the same time. His muscular body was still shaking slightly from rage and those beautiful, meaningful eyes shone with tears that threatened to fall. There was silence as they stared at each other; the distraught brunette hated how the silent angel peered at him curiously, with interest as though he were a subject. At the same time it was as though he could read every thought that Zack had in his head right now, as his expression softened to something of pity and understanding. After another moment, Zack broke the gaze and looked at the ground, shutting his eyes again. He _refused_ to cry in front of this monster.

"You understand now? How we are all monsters…it's something that cannot be helped. No one of this world is pure…no one. Not even you, Zackusu. But your acts can be forgiven. It is not always wrong to be a monster…sometimes it's the only way. It seemed to be that way for Angeal."

"Don't you _dare_ call him a monster," Zack growled through gritted teeth, eyes still on the ground.

"As you wish."

"Don't you feel _anything_? Any sense of sadness, grief over him? Did he mean _nothing _to you?!" the upset man cried out.

The light haired man blinked and thought for a moment.

"….he meant everything. It's not I knew what would happen," he said in a soft, nearly sad tone that Zack had never heard from him before.

Genesis said nothing else, and the irritated swordsman figured he wouldn't get any other better explanation out of him. Sighing, he wiped his eyes.

"Are you going to answer my question?"

"Might as well. Although I'm not sure how."

"Take your time."

"Dammit, Genesis why are you so freakin' calm all the time?! You're just like-"

Zack trailed off as more unwanted memories resurfaced in his mind, this time ones of his once silver haired, intelligent superior. But Sephiroth didn't always act as his superior…he acted as his friend. The hyper brunette was one of the few who had seen the down-to-earth, friendly, even sweet side of the former hero. And to think that he lost that part of him- actually _all_ of who he was- because his former best friend decided to stop by and tell him the origins of his 'mother'…which drove him insane and then…

He couldn't take it anymore. The reminiscing youth suddenly burst into tears, taking Genesis by surprise. He collapsed onto the ground and just cried, not caring to hide his face from his so-called enemy; he felt too weak right now to bring his knees up. Surprised eyes watched the earlier furious man weep terribly, and somewhere, some part of him felt pity and sorrow for the sight in front of him. He thought a moment, before he reached forward and grabbed the crying youth's lifeless hand. Zack reacted to the touch, and looked curiously at Genesis through his tears.

"Do you still hate me?" the beautiful man asked softly.

Tear glazed eyes stared at the questioning man for a moment before he shook his head.

"I…I thought I did. I can't forgive you for what you've done…I can only push it aside because I know…that the Genesis Angeal knew…and that Sephiroth knew…was a good person," Zack managed to say, his tear flow lessening as he said each word. "I don't know what the hell drove you crazy…and neither do you, as it seems. So I can't…I can't hate you for what you don't know…I can't hate you for things that might have not even been your intentions. And I saved you in hopes of maybe getting that old you back. And because…you were the one person I _could_ save. I couldn't save Angeal or Sephiroth from what they became- but I could save you. If I didn't, I could never forgive myself."

Realization came over the thoughtful youth as he said this, and he caught the auburn haired man's surprised, even grateful expression before he looked at the ground. Genesis was still holding his hand, and his grip tightened after a moment. Zack went to wipe away his tears, but was caught off guard as Genesis's free hand reached his face first. He watched the silent man questionably as he rid his cheek of moisture, and then occupied himself with stroking the beauty's face. For unknown reasons, Zack found that he wasn't averted to the touch…he was confused as to why Genesis was doing this, but he surprisingly didn't mind. The motions against his cheek were soft and gentle, and the black haired swordsman unintentionally leaned his head toward the pink glove, as though silently asking the angel to continue. Genesis smiled ever so slightly at this reaction, and suddenly took the puppy's chin into his hand. Magnificent eyes met for the umpteenth time, one pair confused and asking, the other thoughtful and wondering. But Zack didn't have time to utter a single syllable before the unexpected happened.

Faster than the questioning youth would have thought possible, being in such a weak state as Genesis was, the determined man darted forward and snatched the SOLDIER's lips in a heated, passionate kiss that nearly made Zack fall backward from shock. Burning and intense feelings shot throughout the dumbfounded youth's body as the wanting angel continued kissing him as though he were his lover, his free hand pulling him closer, the other hand intertwining with the beauty's own. Zack's mind was gone, there wasn't any conscience to tell him this was wrong and to push the idiot off of him. Even if there was, the dazed man wasn't sure if he would have listened to it. As he fell slave to the experiment's kisses, his thoughts disappeared; he felt at peace, he even felt things maybe he wasn't supposed to be feeling, but right now he didn't really care. Agreeing with this, Zack let his eyes close, and kissed Genesis back. He felt the fallen angel become still for a second, as though surprised by the reaction. Soon enough, he resumed his previous actions, even more intense than before, and the lost youth suddenly found himself on the ground, as the arm he was using to hold himself up suddenly gave out. He blinked and looked up at Genesis, who was smirking down at him.

"Sorry….I often have an effect of making people fall while I'm kissing them," he said in a smooth tone, laced with amusement.

"Really now?" Zack asked, slowly coming back to his senses. He even felt a bit dizzy.

"I would say so. This isn't the first time it's happened."

Wide sky blue eyes met the others' and the pleased man chuckled again.

"I'd rather not ask."

"Why's that? Jealousy? I assure you I'm only concerned with the person in front of me right now."

Before the confused youth could say anything, he fell silent as the angelic looking being leaned down over him, his rust colored hair lingering over Zack's forehead. He could find no words to say right now, the other being so close, his eyes filled with warm emotions that the young swordsman had never seen before. In a moment, his mouth was covered by the other's again, but this time it was softer, yet still retained the same passion. Someone up there must have _really_ loved Zack to grant him the pleasure of receiving such wondrous kisses. Nonetheless, the SOLDIER's sense of mind spontaneously returned to him and he remembered who he was currently engaging in this intimate activity with.

Sitting up, the focused male broke the kiss, Genesis settling smoothly onto his lap. They looked at each other for a moment before the beautiful angel snuck an arm around the youth's waist, laying his head on the strong chest. Zack returned the half hug, wrapping his right arm around the other's shoulders and leaning his head against the one right behind his shoulder. The tired fire summoner closed his eyes, relishing in the soft warmness of Zack's body against his own. It was a comfortable feeling, one he wished could never end, but it would all too soon.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked gently, his voice barely above a whisper.

He felt the chest he was lying on rise and descend as the cherubic beauty sighed.

"Kissing helps forget things for a little while- but it doesn't make them disappear," Zack replied sadly, yet sincerely.

The red head opened his eyes again, and some sort of cold, heavy feeling settled in his heart at the fact that the sweet swordsman would never forgive him. Well, at least he didn't loathe him.

The moment broken, Genesis returned to his previous position against the rock. Zack stood up again, and gave him an apologetic expression.

"I'm…sorry."

"Don't be. Not for me."

Zack nodded slowly, looking at the ground for a moment before meeting with the other's gaze.

"Can you promise me something?"

Genesis blinked, questionable.

"Stay alive, okay?"

The perplexed male only smiled slightly, shaking his head.

"'Your story shall be told. Your sacrifice and the world's end. Like wind that blows over the secret water surface. Gently and certainly.'"

Zack frowned at the repeated statement, irritated. Perhaps the LOVELESS addict really hadn't changed much after all.

"Are you _ever_ going to stop saying that?" he questioned, a bit of annoyance slipping into his voice.

"That will be the last time. I promise."

Truthful eyes met the other's disappointed ones, and Zack was suddenly reminded that Cloud was waiting for him.

"I need to go…maybe I'll see you again?" the youth asked hopefully.

That smile stayed on the angel's face but he said nothing. At this point, the porcupine haired male knew better than to wait for a nonexistent answer.

"Anyway, take care. And…thank you."

Bright blue eyes widened slightly at the last two words, but all Genesis got for a response was a slight, thankful, maybe even happy smile. Zack turned away, breaking his gaze with the other for the final time as he went toward the direction of where Cloud was. As the exhausted beauty watched the swordsman's figure become smaller as he walked away, he felt a small sliver of sadness run through him; it would be the last time he would see the soon-to-be hero alive again.

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You read it!! (dances, confetti, fireworks) Some random info:

1) Zakusu is Zack's Japanese name, (pronounced ZAK-SU not ZAK-KU-SU, the first u is silent) and the reason I had Genesis call him that instead of just Zack is because he sounds wonderfully sexy saying Zackie's Japanese name and I just wanted to keep it. X3

2) Yeah there's a bit of impled AngealxZack / GenesisxAngealness, but Angeal IS just love, I mean EVERYONE loves him, and I personally think Zack loved him very very much, whether platonic or romantic.

3) Zack does call Genesis a bastard at a later point in the game. XD

This is obviously my first time writing Genesis, so I hope he turned out okay, I based most of what I wrote about him off my own assumptions and how I think he would respond in that current situation. Another thing him and Kadaj have in common (oh they have SO MANY similarities, probably WHY I love him so) is that we don't see either of them out of the "evil" mode much so how they normally act/respond to things is experimental. So PLEASE let me know what you think of dear Genesu! Thanks so much for reading and GO PRESS THE SUMBIT REVIEW BUTTON NAO!!! I really need some feedback on this. And if you're confused about something, don't hesistant to ask! Just make sure your question comes with a review ;)


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